a poem for Kirana and Melati

be brave, be happy and always be yourself….


By Sarah McMane

“Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.” – Clementine Paddleford

Never play the princess when you can
be the queen:
rule the kingdom, swing a scepter,
wear a crown of gold.
Don’t dance in glass slippers,
crystal carving up your toes —
be a barefoot Amazon instead,
for those shoes will surely shatter on your feet.

Never wear only pink
when you can strut in crimson red,
sweat in heather grey, and
shimmer in sky blue,
claim the golden sun upon your hair.
Colors are for everyone,
boys and girls, men and women —
be a verdant garden, the landscape of Versailles,
not a pale primrose blindly pushed aside.

Chase green dragons and one-eyed zombies,
fierce and fiery toothy monsters,
not merely lazy butterflies,
sweet and slow on summer days.
For you can tame the most brutish beasts
with your wily wits and charm,
and lizard scales feel just as smooth
as gossamer insect wings.

Tramp muddy through the house in
a purple tutu and cowboy boots.
Have a tea party in your overalls.
Build a fort of birch branches,
a zoo of Legos, a rocketship of
Queen Anne chairs and coverlets,
first stop on the moon.

Dream of dinosaurs and baby dolls,
bold brontosaurus and bookish Belle,
not Barbie on the runway or
Disney damsels in distress —
you are much too strong to play
the simpering waif.

Don a baseball cap, dance with Daddy,
paint your toenails, climb a cottonwood.
Learn to speak with both your mind and heart.
For the ground beneath will hold you, dear —
know that you are free.
And never grow a wishbone, daughter,
where your backbone ought to be.


Thank you, Steve Jobs!

I am one of the millions of people that write about you now you’ve passed away. I have been a big fan of you, Apple and your products for a long time. I have posted your speech at Stanford University back in 2008 on my blog and you can find the video on Youtube too.

I just wanna thank you for being such an inspiring man with your speech and your creations too. I am a Mac user and I can’t thank you enough for making it possible to do so many things with Apple products. Your products are so enjoyable and beautiful. It really enables me to be as close as I possibly can be with all the professionals in the world, from making a short movie for my in-laws to creating a photo album for my parents in Indonesia. My iPhone really helps me to get through the hectic and disastrous days at the office and also makes it possible to share the joy and laughter with my friends and family.

In times like this when i feel i am not what i want to be in my career, one part of your speech really inspires me:

 You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers.Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it.

Don’t settle.”

I will keep on looking and working to find the true love in my work. I won’t settle.

Now you’re not here anymore, I believe you’ll be remembered and in every corner of the world have your legacy in many different shapes of your inventions and products. One thing for sure is that  you’ll always be inspiring a lot of people with your products, vision, management, charisma.. so many things. So many messages, candles and mourners on the day you passed away is a proof that you make a better world.


T.H.A.N.K.  Y.O.U

I typed this on my iMac.


Again, cancer has taken a life of someone that i care for. I hope one day we can find the cure.

time to move on..

when you found there’s no passion…
when you thought it’s hopeless…
when you feel you’re stuck…

it’s time to move on…
don’t just sit there and expect a miracle…

so now i do what i should do…
make a plan and do it…
i don’t know what future can bring…
but i know what i want to do…

be the best that i believe i can be, and ignore the voices behind.
i know i can be great, i know i am good.


I was thinking to start my no complaint week today because I really thought it’s really good to build my character. But what i get today makes me wanna scream. It’s just like unfunny joke, a curse with no cure, feel so wasted…

When you think you stretched yourself beyond your imagination and working so damn hard, wasted your experiences… and it’s not enough.

I’m so fucking tired with this game.  They ask for more, they take my soul, they take my confidence…

I made big mistake, when I signed that paper 4 years ago….

2nd day my nocomplaintweek

Well, i didn’t write any blog yesterday as I get high fever. I slept since I was home and this morning I manage to go to the office for an hour to do some necessary things. My first day of no complain week is not that bad. I do one or two “soft complain” but didn’t bitch as what I usually do. Being aware that I don’t want to complain or moaning means that I can manage my emotion. It also makes me try to find a solution faster instead of bitching first and thinking later.

But one thing that I am concern, because I don’t wanna complain makes me feel that I am defeated on some situation. I really should work on this.

I really think that Hubby is really good example of people who didn’t do a lot of complain…

It’s short blog today, I will stay in bed, so on that case, my 2nd day will be sooo smoootttthhhhh 😀

It started when i read my timeline of my twitter, from my friend Henry, He said that he won’t complain for a week. It’s his project, inspired by Will Bowen who is the Lead Minister of One Community Spiritual Center in Kansas City, MO.

Me and my Hubby are just done watching Julie & Julia on this sunday evening when i read the tweets. I have a resolution for this year to learn something new. So as a conclusion I really think that I will put No complaint Week as one of the projects that I wanna do this year. Well, the other things are sewing and knitting, if you are interested.

I really think a week without complaint is a part of “something new in 2011” as I love to complain. I really wonder how come Hubby never complains when on the way from the office i will bitch and moan all the way home and then at home I will continue with complaining about the messy house, piled up laundry, etc., etc.  I am really really good to spot the mistakes but of course it’s not my mistake, it should be somebody else’s mistake. The rule is I am always right 😀

I am never afraid of practising to master some new skill, but mastering to not complain, is gonna be different. Before i start it, i already think about all the things in the world that can go wrong and will make me complain about it. Gonna be challenging at the office, at home gonna be easier, as i love my little family to bits. I love Chris, Kirana and our dog, Nala. They are far from perfect but they are perfect for me.

It’s gonna be tough and thank God, it’ll only be a week. I want to do this for the sake of my goodness and my happiness. Positive attitude always brings happiness. So i really hope that i can do this and can be my own (new)  attitude.

It will start tomorrow,very nice… Valentine Day 😀


that hurts….

I thought  it won’t hurt…

I already knew it coz I can feel it…

I thought I will overcome all the feelings…

But why it makes me cry….

It even didn’t have a heartbeat yet…

I wish I can blame something, I wish I can blame me…

But I don’t know why it happens…

Why it hurts so bad….

It even didn’t have a heartbeat yet…